Life, The Universe and Everything.

Watching my middle sister play with her dogs yesterday caramelised some thoughts I have been having.

Middle sister is now pretty close to mid-30's. She loves her dogs - she enjoys playing with them, she dresses them up on special occasions, sleeps with them, kisses them, has more than an album full of photos of them and it is difficult to have a conversation with her without her mentioning them in some way, shape or form.

I think that these dogs have taken the place of children. Despite not having a partner or children of my own, these kind of replicate my own feelings. It is difficult to explain, but I feel like my body is telling me that I should have settled down and have a family of my own by now and I do feel a little empty not taking any action by now. When i was younger, I always assumed that a family of my own was a given and one would find me eventually, now that I am older, I am disappointed in myself for taking that for granted and ending up in the situation that I am in now. 

For middle sister, i dare say that her dogs have filled that void. i do not know if she has come to the same conclusion yet, but for now she is happy. Ironically, I used to like dogs but watching the way my sister acts around them and talks about them as if nothing else is important has put me off dogs. 

At least I can rest in the solace that whilst I am fast running out of time, I am not out of time yet, All I need to do now is stop relying on faith and do something about it.